(Image Credit: Spikey Bits)

Alright then, let’s do some more!

In my last post on parody characters, I shared 4 of my custom character sheets that I created for a group of new D&D players that are all friends of mine from the local theaters at which I do work.

I’m excited to see how they take to these fun, familiarly flavored characters. And I have more! I have 7 players, and 13 of these character sheets…which means, if I make just one more, I have enough for each player to have 2 character sheets (in case one dies…or something…).

So let’s get down to it. Remember: I’m using this awesome fully-automated sheet builder from More Purple More Better on the DM’s Guild. And I’m going more toward character accuracy, flavor, and fun than strictly following the rules of character-creation and level advancement.

First up is our intrepid Wizard.

Germiny Flanger is from a family of elves that do not overtly practice their innate magical ability. They shun it instead. But she became obsessed with her own magic, and studied it endlessly. Once she had consumed all the knowledge from all the books she could find, Germiny set out to find more. She made her way to a well-known school of wizardry, and studied there for many years under many respected mentors. She was even something of a teacher’s pet to many of them, which some found endearing, and some found annoying. Her “know-it-all” attitude soon led her to realize that she had no real friends.

So, obviously, this character is based off of Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series. I made her an evocation wizard, because she’s more of a go-getter on this sheet. She’s wanting to explore all the planes and dimensions, so she needs to be well-armed. And, since Hermione was so gifted with her little fire spells in the book, I gave Germiny mostly fire-based offensive spells like Scorching Ray, Fire Bolt, Flaming Sphere, and Fireball.

She’s an Elemental Adept, for fire, meaning her fire spells ignore resistances, and she doubles her minimum damage rolls. She also has the Observant feat, because I wanted her Intelligence ability score to be even higher, and it makes sense.


No party is complete without a Bard.

You’ve probably heard of Shawn Pennon. And if that name doesn’t ring a bell, surely The Weevils does. Shawn is a human who used to tour and perform with a band of musicians known as The Weevils. Their songs were insanely popular throughout the regions, and they were in high demand everywhere they went. When Shawn discovered that the local barons and magistrates were using their concerts as bread-and-circuses for the public so that they could make their political moves in the background, he decided to start writing protest songs and songs about peace and love…which eventually got him kicked out of The Weevils.

When I was thinking about who to parody for the Bard class, John Lennon came to me pretty quickly. His story is easily recognized, and known by many, and I felt like – if the player who chooses Shawn wanted to actually sing in-game – the Beatles songs would be easy to parody.

Shawn carries a specially made lute made of wood and metal that he calls a “guitar,” and it is a magical item that helps to amplify his music and lyrics, which are already powerful to begin with. While playing the guitar, and singing one of his songs, he can cast “Charm Person,” or “Suggestion” once per day. Shawn is truly a peaceful character, so most of his spells are support and buff spells. Very few offensive stuff.


Please welcome to the arena, the Barbarian!

It’s difficult to think of the word “barbarian,” or the words “gladiatorial combat arena champion” without thinking of Kar Nuld Schwartz of Reggerd, the goliath who came from nothing and skyrocketed into stardom. From wrestling in mud pits, to traveling actor in a troupe of performers, Kar Nuld has done it all. However, when a scandal came to light that Kar Nuld had bedded the wife of a magistrate – and she bore his child – the troupe fired Kar Nuld and moved on without him. The once-famous goliath took the baby himself and struggled to make a living back in the gladiatorial pits.

Full disclosure, I like Arnold. I grew up watching all of his movies, my dad used to work for him, and I think he’s a neat guy. I do think the recent events regarding his personal life are unfortunate, but it’s also none of my business – or any of our business, for that matter. So, I decided to parody it because it makes for a good character story – a man broken by the things that he did, living with the consequences, and having to work hard to earn back his name and fame.

On the character sheet is a special item: Baby Buggaboo, the infant goliath that Kar Nuld carries with him in a papoose. He has the Durable and the Savage Attacker feats, because I feel like both are extremely appropriate – especially given some of the roles that Arnold has played in the past. And, of course, because he’s a goliath barbarian, I had to keep that Intelligence score down (low ability scores make for great characters, after all). And his Personality Trait is, “I may look stupid, but don’t let that fool you. I AM stupid.” Again, does not reflect my personal feelings on Arnold himself.


The last one for today – the one you never see coming – the Rogue.

You most likely haven’t heard of Black Crow. And, if you have, you chum with some shady company. She’s an assassin, and one of questionable morality. She grew up training within the S.H.A.T. faction – which stands for The Supreme Hierarchy of Active Threats – a guild of assassins that evaluates the current climate of the land and takes action to ensure that the balance of power is maintained. Crow became one of S.H.A.T.’s top operatives before realizing that her whole life is nothing but death, so she quit and left to live out her days in peace. But S.H.A.T. then labeled her as an active threat, and started sending assassins after her.

I wanted another strong female character, so I went immediately to Black Widow from the Marvel comics. This was actually one of the first parody characters I made for this group – it seemed so obvious to me.

I gave Crow the Grappler feat because of how Black Widow’s depicted in the films as wrapping her legs around enemies to take them down. She also has Mage Slayer so that she can get in close to magic-users and dispose of them quickly. She’s a half-elf, and thus has advantage on saves against being charmed. She also has a history with the Zhentarim, being a rival spy network.


So there you have it – four more parody characters that I made. Feel free to download and use them yourself, and definitely check out the More Purple More Better auto-character sheet on the DM’s Guild, it’s really easy to use and a lot of fun too.

I have 5 more custom, parody characters, so maybe I’ll share them with you another time. If you liked them, or plan to use them, let me know! I’d like to hear how they handled in your game.

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Until next time – Well Met!